Me: KO, can you please tidy up the mess you made?
KO: No.
Me: I’m going to count to three … [pause] … ONE … ? TWO … ? …
KO [watches me questioningly, wide-eyed]
Me: THREE ……?! …
[I pause.]
KO [helpfully]: FOUR?
Me: No KO, when I get to three, you know what happens …?
KO [gives me a blank stare]
Me: You … [pause] … go … [pause] … on … [very long pause while KO looks as me as though I’m insane] …
KO proffers: … the potty …??
(At this point I give up and tidy up the mess myself.)